The Female Privilege Checklist

Behold: The female privilege checklist!

Gentlemen, feel free to link the HELL out of this.

To find out if you’re experiencing female privilege, ask yourself the following:

1. Do you experience other people paying for your dates, or occasionally even picking up the tab in non-romantic settings? Or paying for your vacations when the relationship advances?

2. Do you occasionally experience subservience and deference being volunteered to you by the opposite sex (opening doors, giving up a seat in the bus, standing up when you come in the room)?

3. Are you able to pursue what you are interested in at university without much societal pressure on “breadwinning” – although you could also take that route if it so interests you?

Female-Armor4.a. Have you never been required to register for selective service? Would you never be ripped away from your daily life and forced to defend your country in time of attack or national emergency? Can you demand strength and full participation in society, but then get out of this obligation by pretending to be weak (but only when it suits you)?

4.b. Can you come up with any and every excuse to get out of the draft without being laughed at?

4.c. Can you say “Men start wars” and completely ignore the fact that most wars have extremely complex socio-economic and political causes that are often difficult to summarize?

5.a Will you statistically get a much lighter sentence for exactly the same offense if you commit a crime?

5.b Do you have special legal excuses for your sex alone which often allows you to get off the hook for the crimes you commit? Are judges usually more lenient, protective and paternalistic when it comes to dealing with your sex?

5.c Are you 25 times more likely to have your death sentence canceled?

6. Are you able to take on a job or choose a career route that is only capable of supporting yourself, with no thought to preparing for a spouse/children, although you are also free to choose a more difficult career that will bring you more money? Do you not have much pressure on you with regard to this?

7. If you are in a committed relationship, do you have much greater flexibility to choose whether you want to work or simply stay at home (even without kids)?

8. Will you not be called an unemployed loser if you decide to be a homemaker?

9. If you have a flat tire on the road, if someone is harassing you in a public place, if an animal attacks you, or if you are lost, will someone be much, much more likely to step-in and assist you?

10. Are people generally much nicer to you in public? Are you sometimes given privileged treatment or better customer service?

11 Do you get first dibs on a lifeboat when your ship begins to sink?

12.a. Are you much more capable of simply marrying rich and getting wealth and support that way?

12.b. Are you statistically much more likely to be given money in a divorce – sometimes huge amounts – even if your behavior caused the divorce (e.g. affair) and even if you didn’t work for the money?

12.c Is custody of your kids almost automatic after divorce, regardless of your parenting abilities? On top of this, do you have the ability to make false accusations of rape or child abuse in order to help you gain custody? Is it possible for you to deprive your child of his or her other parent in violation of court orders without serious consequences?

13.a If you hit or slap a person – or even knock someone’s tooth out throwing your Aunt Selma’s Christmas mug at that person – is it much more likely to just be viewed as cute, understandable or not a problem?  Or hell, maybe even “he deserved it”?

13.b If you are ever physically, emotionally, or sexually abused by in any way, are there dozens upon dozens of organizations that are specifically in place to fight for you and house you when necessary? Do you have the ability to have someone taken-away by police if you make a false or exaggerated accusation of abuse?

13.c. Can you freely accuse anyone who disagrees with any of this as being a misogynist rape-apologist MRA scumbag – as if that automatically wins the argument – and never ever have to bother with researching counter arguments?

14.a Do you statistically live much longer – possibly due to less stress on you with regard to breadwinning, providing protection, being responsible, not having society viewing you as “expendable” or not having society viewing your problems as being unimportant? Can you blame the earlier deaths of the other gender on their stupid behavior or bad genes?

14.b Are you about 20 times less likely to die or get injured in your workplace?

15. Do you have much more money spent on your health concerns in reality (e.g. 5 times as much on breast cancer as on prostate cancer – although they have roughly the same death rates) while you simultaneously claim that more care has to be taken for your needs?

16. Are you much less likely to be homeless? Is more offered to you by society when you are in this position?

17. Is there far less scorn and pressure on you by society when you are an irresponsible goofball? Are your default rates for payment of child support roughly twice those of the other gender, while you simultaneously complain about the other gender not paying?

18.a Has whining about and hating the other gender actually been made into a course of studies in college- as opposed to the true, neutral, unbiased study of this topic – which is simply anthropology?

18.b Can you tell everyone that your sex is the superior sex without you being called sexist?

18.c Can you ignore the fact that your sex’s traditional gender-roles would not place you into situations where you’d be likely to be forced to do immoral things and then use the results of this as evidence that your sex is morally superior?

19.a. Do you have full opportunity to pursue what you want in life – become a doctor, a lawyer, start a business – while simultaneously using the fact that many of your gender don’t CHOOSE themselves to do these things as an argument to try to gain even more advantages?

19.b. Can you actually get congress, and even the president, to then pass laws making it easier for you to get work when you simply weren’t working as much to begin with?

20.a Can you manipulate the other gender with sex in some cases to get what you want? Can you pretend like you don’t even know what anyone is talking about when confronted on this?

20.b Can you use your sex appeal to get-ahead on the job? Can you knowingly dress provocatively but act shocked if someone treats you provocatively?

20.c Do you also have the ability to accuse people of sexual harassment for any reason, factual or not? Do you make up the definition of ‘sexual harassment’, and can this definition change depending on the person and whether you like them or not?

21. If you take a job that is traditionally taken by those of the opposite sex, will you be thought of as a brave pioneer by many? Will no one call your sexual orientation into question?

22.a Can you complain that the clothes, shoes, hair, grooming items etc. for your sex are more expensive than those of the opposite sex without ever noticing that the varieties, styles and complexity of those products are often greater than those of the opposite sex? Do you have far more retail space devoted to your shopping desires than does the opposite sex?

shoes on sale22.b. Can you ignore the fact that your gender has plenty of clothes that are just as affordable as the opposite sex, but that you CHOOSE to purchase that 300 dollar purse?

22.c. Can you wear the clothes traditionally associated with the opposite sex without running the risk of getting beat-up or ostracized?

23. Can you manipulate using old notions of men protecting women when it comes in handy?

24. Can you indulge your sexual curiosity for the same sex without having your heterosexuality questioned?

25. Can you openly show insecurity and weakness, and act in an overly emotional manner without being derided or accused of acting inappropriately for your sex?

26. Do you get in trouble at school less, even for the same behavior as the opposite sex?

27. Generally speaking, regardless of your level of attractiveness, can you attain sex and/or relationships with far less effort on your part?

28. Do tears help you in getting your way instead of getting you called a wimp?

29. As a child, were you told that you are beautiful, cute and sweet, and allowed to hug teddy bears all the way up until you were 25 without ever being screamed at to grow the f* up?

30. Can you get sympathy if you don’t work and don’t have children by listing all the household chores you have to do, while simultaneously calling your sister’s husband who stays home a worthless bum whom she ought to leave?

31. Can you claim that your sex’s work “never ends” while your sex also, on average, watches more television in every time-slot than members of the opposite sex?

32. Can almost any remark by your partner be construed as verbal abuse if you want sympathy, but the meanest, nastiest, most humiliating things that you can say simply involve “speaking your mind” and “some people just don’t want to hear the truth”?

33. Can you use the fact that gender roles were differentiated long ago – with different advantages/disadvantages for both genders – to try to induce guilt today in people who had absolutely no connection with any of that? Can you say that you have been discriminated against for thousands of years with a straight face when you’re only 20 years old? Can you even make things up about history and no one will really check or dare call you on it?

34. Can you propagate myths and outright lies (domestic violence, rape statistics, wage gap, etc) that nobody has a right to question?

35. Can you rationalize your own failures using the concept of the “patriarchy”, and blame the other gender for nearly everything that goes wrong in your life – while failures of the other gender are just … failures?

36.a. As an infant, would amputating a piece of your genitals be a crime? Would not cutting your genitals be considered a basic human right to which you are entitled?

36.b. Can you use female genital mutilation as an example of how your gender isn’t respected, even though FGM is a crime in damn near every civilized nation in the world, and that absolutely no one in any modern country is okay with it?

37. Can you choose to work fewer hours at less dangerous jobs, then complain about the “wage gap” when your gender earns less at the end of a year?

38. Can you get irritated about generalizations and stereotypes of your gender, then turn right around and generalize and stereotype the opposite gender?

39. Can you get irritated about old-fashioned restrictive attitudes towards your sexual behavior, while insulting men who engage in the same liberal sexual behavior you think you should be entitled to?

40. Do you reserve the right to call anyone “sexist” for any reason, based upon your own definition of the term? Is your sexist behavior never noticed?

41. Are you able to charge your partner for child support after a pregnancy which you refused to abort, even if in the intercourse your partner was using protection and you weren’t, or convinced your partner to not use protection?

42. Do you have the privilege of making long lists criticizing the privileges of the opposite sex while everyone pretends to not notice your long list of privileges?

Feminist-hypocrisy43. Do you have the privilege of blaming your privileges on the opposite sex?

44. Do you have the privilege of dishonestly insisting that you don’t have any privileges?

If you answered ‘yes’ to any of the above, then you may enjoy female privileges! But don’t let on – because you can always gain much much more by insisting on your powerlessness and continual victim status!